you'll die trying to live this down

do you think you know the way i feel?
June 16, 2003 / 9:33 pm

and do you think you feel the way i do?
cause i am all alone, all my friends are home
and soon ill be there, wishin i was here

yesterday i was working with amy (who’s very nice, i get along with her really well) at the slides, and we saw these ducks having sex! and then later as we were on our way to pretend to clock out, we saw these two ducks biting the hell out of this other duck’s neck…it looked like they were trying to kill it. we think the victim-duck had an affair with one of the other duck’s girlfriend. and then vern, one of the maintenance guys, brought in his kid! its cute.

i talked to noel this morning and she said that me and her and holly would have to hang out when holly gets back from the beach, so i don’t think that little incident last monday really meant anything.

since when does my dad care what i do? last night right after i got home from work libby called me up and said to come over to her friend tommy’s house (which was only like a mile away from work; and i waste so much gas driving there) but i decided to go anyway, and when i got there it was just those two, and libby was on the phone with a bunch of people for a really long time. id hate to see that bill. anyway, she was having problems with francis, so she left eventually. so it was just me and tommy and this other guy who came, but i decided to stay. i called my dad about 15 minutes before 11, which is when i was supposed to be home and said i was just going to spend the night at libby’s house. he never questions me when i go out, but he decided to be difficult and made me come home at 1. i didn’t really care that much because we just sat around and talked, but i don’t want him to be like this all summer. if i hang out with them this summer there are going to be times when i cant drive home, so im going to need to get him to let me stay overnight at friend’s houses that im not really at. that’s kind of risky, because what if he calls (although he never does and he doesn’t have anyone‘s number), but i cant be like, ‘hey dad, im going to be totally trashed tonight so im just going to crash at this college guy’s house whom you don’t know.’ that wouldn’t fly.

i burned a rockin cd today, but still, i need some new music to listen to. give me ideas!

i went to get my senior pics and pick out the ones i want wallets of, etc. today! at first i was kinda dissappointed because not all of them were good- due to me looking bad, not the photography. but we got the 7 pose package and i liked a few more than that, so it worked out. im going to have like 160 some wallets, so i think there will be enough. my favorite two are ones where im looking away. hm.

i found out that josh from first aid likes me today! he's cute.

i worked y lessons today and had to get in...that was not cool. first of all, i woke up 15 minutes before it started. then, there, this one kid had a death grip on me, and he smelled like rotten meat. i nearly couldnt take it. and i get to experience more of that fun tomorrow!

i want to hate you half as much || as i hate myself