you'll die trying to live this down

you hate him more than you know, yes i wrote this for you
October 20, 2003 / 3:01 pm

from last night: (steve case must've been working then, aol wouldnt load webpages)

im surrounded by a pile of clothes, i havent done any of my homework, i think i really need a shower, and here i am not doing any of it. how cool.

friday was like, a manic-depressive sort of day. not that *i* was feeling that way, i was actually in a good mood, even when i did stupid shit like a) leaving my folders with my spanish homework on the kitchen table, b) forgetting to bring my poncho to the game when it was, indeed, raining [we didnt use them anyway though] and c) (this is the real kicker) dropping my effing book into the TOILET at school. yeah. i wasnt finished with it either and i was almost at the end, so now i have no book to read and i want to know what happened, dammit. and God only knows when ill be able to go into altoona to get a new one- if the stores even have it- because tomorrow a cheerleading practice was just scheduled for 3:30...we need it...and then the school board meeting is later that night. and the rest of the week we have practices because we have our first competition november 1st, which is LESS THAN TWO WEEKS AHH. but i digress. on the other hand, friday was good because of our pizza party in AR, our cheese and crackers party in homeroom, senior night, and dennys. the texas chainsaw massacre was- i dont know, i guess im glad i saw it. just to say that i did. it kind of freaked me out; i jumped in some places, but- dont read this if you dont want to be spoiled- i just kept thinking about how disturbed these people were. it was really sad to see the people die- especially when they showed the ring the one guy had gotten his girlfriend, and the poor guy who hung there with his leg cut off for like, hours. i seriously almost cried, heh. i was going to go to april's afterward, but it was like 2:30 and i realized i had to get up at 6:30 (i ended up getting up at like 7:15) for the chicken bbq, so i dropped emma, who had her turtleneck pulled up the whole way to her eyes the whole movie, off at her car at the football field, and then drove home myself which was scary. it was only like 5 minutes, but yeah.

so i went to the bbq at 8 in the morning the next day (i was actually on time. !) and pam, who was also at the movie, told me that she and barbie saw a hitchiker coming home last night. when are there ever hitchikers around here, nonetheless at 2:30 in the freaking morning? i dont know, that's just too weird.

sometime during the day we got a call.
parent: hello?
caller: hi, are you having a chicken barbeque today?
parent: why, yes.
caller: oh. so are the chickens alive?
yes, actually, we barbecue them on-site.
except nobody said that last part. but seriously, how stupid are people?

i was really worried last night/this morning that i had tinnitis. last night i went to the punchline/lfj/other bands show in altoona. we were in the front row, which was cool because there were like 250 people there, except that i didnt know any of the words to the punchline songs because id never heard them before and i was kind of embarassed and felt out of place because it seemed like everyone else around me knew all of them. anyway i was right by the speakers, and they were really hurting my ears. i kept thinking about this story i had read in teen people or something about someone who was at a concert and got this constant ringing of the ear thing called tinnitis that could never be cured. i was hard of hearing for awhile after the concert, but it wasnt until i got home and there was no noise around me that i noticed the ringing in my right ear, and i was like, 'oh no.' it was hard to fall asleep but i finally did, and then i woke up this morning and it was still there, and i was like, 'ohhhhhh no.' it's still there, but i only notice it once in awhile and it's not as loud as it used to be so i think ill be okay. anyway back to last night, i almost got myself lost going to king's. the show was at this church id never been to before. i got there by going to burger king on the boulevard and having aar and ashley come down and lead the way. after the show, the plan was for me to follow aaron to kings, but i was sitting in my car for awhile and i figured i could get there on my own. i was thinking, this is ALTOONA, it's impossible not to find your way out. which is true, unless you go out in the wrong direction. for some reason, i started going towards juniata, which is definately not the right way. i shouldve gone towards the business district, which i figured was downtown, but i wasnt sure. but eventually i turned around and went there, and when i saw the sign for 17th street i was soo happy. so i was late but i made it.

this morning an evangelist came to our church. he was loud and a little scary. :/ later i went to my grandma's for dinner, and yay, there was pie. (she makes really good pies.)

i want to hate you half as much || as i hate myself