...pieces of my life are not tokens
i wanna let you know im still learning
how to love again and stop hurting
i usually feel like i understand myself pretty well, and then there are times like this. i hate my hypocrisy. i have a good friend whose on again / off again boyfriend treats her like dirt. some of the things she's told me he's said are so awful, like that she's a whore and he only uses her for sex (and those are on the tamer side) but she keeps going back to him. i tell her what *i* think about it, and so do many of her other friends that know what he's like. SHE even knows that being with him isnt that smart, yet she says how much she loves him and is so good to him. anyway, he doesnt know that i dont like him, and unlike most of her friends, he doesnt mind me. we dont really talk to each other that often, but when we do he's nice to me. and im nice to him too. what does that say about me? other than that i cant stand people not liking me, and i feel bad when im mean to people, i dont know. acting civil towards him isnt wrong, but obviously talking shit about him to everyone BUT him is. i do wrong things like every second of the day though, i dont know why this bothers my conscience so much.
hmm, anyway. it's going to be SO cold at the game tomorrow. im not looking forward to it. we only have 2 more though. i am looking forward to our make-your-own-trailmix party in homeroom tomorrow! im bringing the raisins. i think im even more excited about BG scouting on saturday morning. hopefully they'll suck like no other. theyre the rudest people, seriously. the other day susan was talking under her brother’s screen name to one of the girls who was going on and on about how they beat us last year at the fieldhouse. they DIDNT. i can see them saying how much better they are than us and stuff because thats a matter of opinion, but this is a fact. we got second and they didnt even place. so yeah, i hope they fall.
friends <3
ash
rach
nika
skank
jess
mere
bri
shell
kelly
laura
jamie
kris